I've struggled with the decision of blogging about my weight update. Mostly because I feel as though I'm cheating. While on my hiatus from bloggy world I was strictly on Weight Watchers. For 14 weeks I gained and lost the same 5 pounds. It was beyond frustrating! I knew I had to do something different before I gave up completely and gained everything back.
The last straw was our weekly grocery store trip. I stood in Walmart with fear and disappointment cruising through my veins. Food was target #1 and Hubby was target #2 for my wrath. He asked several times what was going on and I could never express what I was feeling. I was pissed that I couldn't eat anything I wanted. I would pick up a box, read the label, and basically throw it back on the shelf. Then I would beat myself up for even wanting said item. I was so focused on being "good" that ultimately I ended up not getting anything. When we arrived back home, I cried quietly in the bathroom. Why did it have to be so hard?
At that moment I decided to make the appointment with my fat doctor. She monitors your food journal, weight, blood pressure, exercise, and your overall wellness. All good things! This is where the cheating comes to play; she also prescribes an appetite suppressant that is taken daily.
After a couple of days taking the medicine I could tell a difference. Food wasn't a priority anymore. I could eat breakfast/lunch/dinner and not worry about what my next meal was going to be. I didn't feel the constant urge to eat and if I ate one potato chip I didn't want or have to eat the entire bag. I don't feel the need to finish my entire plate or sneak around the corner to eat another spoonful of dinner.
Food is finally just food!
With that being said, I've lost a total of 53 pounds. It may be considered cheating to some people (and at some level I agree), but I don't regret my decision. I'm learning that my life doesn't have to revolve around food. When it's time to stop taking the medicine, it's up to me to continue my healthy way of eating. Right now it's about learning what that is and how to do it.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
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9 comments:
It's hard to judge-so many people do so many things to lose it. I think as long as you are changing your behaviors and can truly maintain, then the pill was a good choice for you.
I don't think it's cheating as long as it's safe. I've never used them before, because appetite isn't my issue. Keep us updated on how they're working for you!
Good for you for making a decision that worked for you - that is all that counts. It does not matter what anyone else thinks - it has to be about you =) Congratulations on your loss!
Good Job... And the blog looks really nice...
This is wonderful news, truly. Everyone has their own methods of trying to figure things out and if this is working for you (and you're obviously doing it under a doctor's supervision) then march on, woman! In the end, it's all about being/feeling healthier.
I like the new blog, very nice. Losing wight is hard, don't give yourself a hard time for finding something that works for you.
You updated the pictures of the boys on the side bar, they look so big!
Good for you taking steps for extra help. I'm getting to a point of desperation where I need some help in this process - but I'm not sure where to turn. I don't know if I have a problem w/ my thyroid(I do... but maybe the medication isn't sufficient any more), or maybe I just need a nutritionist and some accountability? I don't know... And I agree w/ everyone else. You're under a drs care in taking these pills - that's a good place to be.
It's not cheating if it's working for you. Eventually you'll have to find a way to make it work without the pills but if there are no ill side effects or risks, it's all good.
Sometimes ya godda do what ya godda do. Is Sweet n Low "cheating"? Ah, but it is not good for you? Diet coke? See where I am going. Just do whatever you want and feel is right for you. Always know what you are putting in your body and what does and if you are not going to do it forever - by god have a plan for when it is not around anymore. Period. The whiners can go cram it!
Today Hubby and I went to costco. I put little grape tomatoes in to the cart. he said "we grow enough of those". Meaning: Put that back. Let me tell you how well that went over with me. I said, I make decisions about what food I eat. I get so few food pleasures any more. If I want your opinion or thoughts on what I will eat or the quantity or source I will ask.
Now. Ahem. In my defense I was incredibly hungry and I did pass by a free candy sample while big mouth bossy pants acted like the guy in the commercial who dresses in disguise to get multiple treats from the sample person, browsed wine and picked up a few bottles even though we have some at home and decided no fish since the price is astronomical. Where was I? Oh yes. Ranting and rationalizing! Tralala!
I ate since then.
Anyway, You and I and the rest of we of the chub wearing world will one day have to reconcile that we cannot eat what we want. All the time that is. I am still grieving that. Not sure what step I am on in the process. Roughly where you are, but meaner!
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