The glass is half full

Bad News:  I didn't get the job.  It's whatever.  The job didn't pay much and there was not a lot of growth.
It didn't happen for a reason and I'm ok with it.

Good News:  Today another company called to set up an interview for Wednesday.  I applied in JANUARY! 

Good News:  We raised quite a bit of money with my baked goods. 

Bad News:  I think I gained about 20 pounds by licking the bowls. 

The Best News:  I started preparing for the 5k today and walked 3.1 miles in an hour and 15 minutes.  Ok, it might seem really slow but I'm still out there doing it.  Then tonight the kids were begging to go for a walk with the dog.  Normally I would have laughed in their faces.  Instead I walked another mile as the kids ran circles around me. 

That should get those cookies off my ass!  Maybe?

Weigh In Confusion

You should be able to get on the scale and believe the number you see.  Instead I'm left second guessing everything!  I've done really well in not jumping on the scale every 10 minutes for the past 2 weeks.  When I told myself that I wouldn't let the number define me, I believed it. 

This morning I woke up and weighed 303.4.  I ate breakfast and took a shower (for some reason I always weigh less after I eat breakfast).  I weighed again and the scale said 296.6.  Under 300 pounds?!?!  No way.  I jump back on.....295!  Ok, something isn't right.  That would be almost a 8 pound loss in 2 weeks and I don't feel that I've put in that much effort.  Jump on a final time and it said 301.4. 

Now I'm left asking what is the true number?  I thought that maybe my scale was off.  This isn't the first time that the numbers have jumped so ridiculously.  2 weeks ago I made a  trip to Walmart and checked 3 different scales.  They all matched the number on the scale at home.  I just don't understand how a scale can fluctuate 6 pounds within a 5 minute period.

Red meat vs. Turkey?

Our family uses ground turkey instead of red meat in everything.  From hamburger helper, to spaghetti, to chili, to hamburgers.  My question:  Is turkey really better for you?  If you get the really lean ground beef, isn't it the same?

I'm not a nutritional type person (obviously) so I'm curious of your thoughts or knowledge.

Interview update

It's funny how things all fall into place. 

1.  I make the decision to go to school. 
2.  Get a phone call about an interview.
3.  Rocked the interview!
4.  Sent in application for school (to start this summer) after looking at hundreds of programs.
5.  Get a phone call for a second interview for tomorrow!

My interview was relaxed and nice.  Before I left, the Office Manager said that it was between me and another woman, but he "liked my personality and style more than the other candidate".  I left with my head held high knowing that whatever happened was meant to be.  Unlike the previous interviews that I've been on, I now have a goal in place if I don't get this job.  My life isn't over and I won't go into the tail spin of depression. 

So, now my biggest obstacle is that I have nothing to wear for my second interview.  I wish I would have bought at least one more interview worthy outfit this past weekend on my shopping trip.  After looking in my closet I pulled something together and I will totally rock it!

Life changing decisions

My weekend was amazing!  It started alittle rocky with a $200 tire replacement on my car.  Thankfully, I had them checked because they probably would have blown.  Then when I'm 2 hours away I get a phone call saying the kids were sitting at school an hour and a half pick up time.  The babysitter forgot to pick them up.  Hubby was on the way so it turned out ok in the end. 

There is nothing like spending time with a good friend.  No pressure to act a certain way or say the right things.  We shopped and gossiped and watched good movies.  I bought a couple of new shirts and even managed to buy a size 18/20!  I did a little happy dance in the dressing room.  AMAZING!

So, what's this life changing decision thing all about?  My friend, Gen, and I were talking about school.  She is enrolled at the University of Maryland and taking classes online.  I asked about tuition, financial aid, classes online, testing, etc.  I've decided that if I'm eligible to receive a full ride scholarship/grant then I'm going to go back to school!

I talked with hubby because I can't make this decision by myself.  It will take commitment from the entire family, not just from me.  He was so supportive that it made me cry.  As we sat in the car he said, "The only thing I have to say is why didn't you do this sooner?" 

After this huge decision is made, I get a phone call for an interview.  Go figure!  It will be my luck that I get this job.  I'm not going to bomb the interview today.  If I get it, then it will be another decision to face.  It's good to have options, right?

A busy bee

This week has been never ending!!! 

I've been trying to raise money for not only the AIDS Walk, but also for St. Bladrick's (for children with cancer).  My husband has decided to shave his head and I've signed up as a volunteer to help with the event.  To help raise more money for both events, my mom and I decided to do a bake sale.  The next few weekends will be spent baking. 

How do you like the flyer I made for Mom's office?

Baseball is in full swing.  Youngest is so excited to play and I can't wait until games start.  I've volunteered to be Team Mom again.  Shoot me now!  Even though it brings on several headaches with all of the responsibilities, it is also very rewarding to be "a part of the team"! 

Youngest at baseball tryouts

Tonight was Youngest and Step-Son's school Texan program.  They sang their little hearts out and I was a proud Momma.  True to form, I teared up watching them up on stage. 

And to sum everything up, I'm leaving tomorrow to visit a friend about 3 hours away.  Her husband is in the Army and they were stationed in Germany.  They recently came back to Texas and I promised I'd visit her new house.  I'm not looking forward to the boring drive by myself, but I can't wait to see her! 

Our special night

This is what I ended up wearing.  After getting ready in my most favorite (along with many of you) black and white floral dress I realized that it didn't fit.  It really saddened me, but I made the new dress work.  And honestly, it was nice to wear something different.

Tonight we celebrated our anniversary at The Melting Pot.  If you haven't been, you must go now!  We were served a four course meal over a two hour period.  First we started with cheese fondue and bread to dip.  It is not pictured because, let's face it, we scarfed it down before I could whip the camera out. 

Then we had a delicious salad with sweet and tangy dressing. 

For the main entree there was a seasoned broth fondue with lobster, chicken, salmon, ravoli, and beef. 

For dessert we had white chocolate sauce with strawberries, pound cake, brownies, marshmellows, pineapple, and cheesecake.  I like to call it, the pot of heaven. 

We toasted the night with a glass of champange.  Here's to our first anniversary with many more to come!

How we met

Since it's our anniversary and Valentine's Day, I decided to share our own love story. 

Hubby and I actually met back in 2000.  I was a senior in high school (17 years old) and he was the bad boy rebel (20 years old).  We dated for several months and I was "in love"  Whatever love was to a 17 year old girl.  I thought that I would marry this man and had fantasies of our wedding day.  Yeah, it was a bit over the top.

Us back in 2000.

It came as a shock when the jerk broke up with me because he was turning 21.  His high school girlfriend wouldn't be able to accompany him to the bars.  There was no point in having me wait around for him when his only goal was to get wasted as much as possible.  This was a major heart break and I cried for several days/months. 

We kept in contact through email (and a few drunken late night calls when he "couldn't live without me"), but we eventually just lost contact.  Life went on.  I got married and had kids, but I always wondered what happened to him.  I searched for him a couple of times on the internet (just to see how he was) but I was never successful in finding him. 

Suddenly, I was faced with a divorce after almost 7 years of marriage.  I took a couple of months for myself and focused on my boys.  One day I thought of him and wondered if I would be able to find him.  The first search and his name popped up with a distorted picture.  I held my breath while I typed an email asking if it was really him.  It was a "hey, how are you" type email and nothing romantic.  A couple days passed and I finally get a response.  My heart skipped a beat when I read, "Yes, it is me.  Is this the girl that I so foolishly let slip away because I wanted to get drunk?" 

We emailed back and forth for about 2 weeks before we decided to meet for lunch.  We were both in the process of a divorce and wanted to take things very slowly.  Coming out of an unsuccessful relationship can put you on guard.  Not to mention, the last time we dated we didn't have "adult" problems to deal with.  We were both toally different people.  After that lunch, we have been unseperable. 

After our divorces were final we hit the ground running.  We waited for a couple of months before the kids were introduced and then came the decision to move in together (or I should say me and the boys move to his house).  It was difficult to join families, but somehow we made it work (and are still making it work).

One of our first photos together - the second time around

I wish I could say that I had some great proposal, but really that's not the hubs.  He isn't the romantic type who plans occasions.  One day we talked about marriage and he asked simply asked "why not just do it".  We planned a very small, friends and family type wedding ceremony at my parent's home.  We were surrounded by the people we love the most and it was such a beautiful day.



Today I wish all of you a very love filled Valentine's Day.  To the man who still makes my toes curl I wish a Happy 1st Anniversary. 

Fashion Show - Help me choose

Our first anniversay is tomorrow (conviently on Valentine's Day).  I can't decide what to wear and need help!  We are planning to go to a fairly nice restaraunt for dinner, so a dress seems to fit the occasion.  Below are the choices.  Please excuse some of the pictures; the kids took them while standing on the dining room chair.

1. This is the dress I bought a couple of weeks ago in the size 22.  It fits so much better than when I first tried it on. 

2.  Short and tight.  I've worn this a couple of times, but I'm very self conscience of my arms.  Let's not even mention the middle section that's sticking out.  Urg!

3.  One of my all time favorite dresses that I own.  This will probably be the last time that I will be able to wear it because it's becoming too big.  It will be alittle bitter sweet when I have to give this dress up.

4.  This is the dress I wore last year after we got married.  Kinda like my going away outfit.  I'm still not sure why I bought it, because when I look at pictures it doesn't leave me all warm and fuzzy.  And quite frankly I can't even find a single picture from last year with me in it.  It was big when I bought it and now it feels like I'm wearing a tent. 

Which one do you like?

Sometimes I really love that man

You all know how I've been struggling with the scale since Christmas.  I've been gaining/losing the same 5 pounds for 2 months now.  Today was yet another disappointing scale attempt.  I sent Hubs a text message explaining how frustrated I am.  He sends me the following message:

I'm so sorry babe.  I don't know if I trust our scale.  Your clothes are loose and baggy on you to where you can't even hold them up anymore.  There is no way in hell you aren't losing weight.  I know that looking at the numbers means alot, but at the same time all I have watched is my wife melt away.  I am so proud of the weight loss that you have already done and I know if you stay with it you will reach your goal.  You look absolutely awesome right now, and to be honest I am envious.  I'm not just saying this to make you happy.....I really mean it.  I know it's hard, but just keep up the good work and remain as dedicated as you have been.  I love you.

Even though he can be a self proclaimed asshole, he can also be sweet and amazing too.  Love that man! 

Because of his words, I'm not dwelling on that stupid number on the scale.  My measurements are dwindling fast, my stamina is increasing during my workouts, and my body feels so much better by the food I'm fueling it with. 

My first 5k!?!

Today I signed up for my first 5k.  Please, someone check my forehead for a fever!  It's for the 22nd Annual Aids Walk in Houston on March 13th.  I'm nervous, but also excited to support such a great cause.  I'm trying to convince friends (or at least a friend) to join me.  It would be alittle nerve wracking and lonely if I were to do this by myself.  I have 32 days and counting.  These next few weeks I'm going to be walking my big fat butt off so I won't embarrass myself in front of thousands by huffing and puffing from a measly 3 miles. 

I'm not one to beg for money, but I'm trying to raise $300.00 for this cause.  If you would like more info please email me.  It's tax deductible!!!

Say good-bye to my little friend

Something clicked today.  Not sure what prompted it, but I had what they call an "aha" moment.  I'm tired of the scale controlling me.  The numbers effect my mood, and my mood effects the way I treat myself, and the negative treatment is not right.  I tried to justify weighing myself every morning, but seriously I'm only fooling myself.  After my weekly weigh in tomorrow I will be putting the scale away. 

It's funny I have mixed emotions about this decision.  I feel as though a burden has been lifted off of me, but I also feel like I'm setting myself up for failure.  Weighing myself every hour is not healthy.  The stress it causes is not healthy.  I'm choosing to be healthy and pray to the Gods that by limiting the stress of the scale that the numbers will follow.

Now the big question is.....do I weigh every 2 weeks or every month? 

I'm truly feeling the wind in my hair now

Back in October I posted a blog about bike riding.  It has been a rough experience to say the least.  There were many times that I fell off, ran into mailboxes, and even a parked car or two. There have been times people honked their horns or laughed while driving past me. I've gotten back on the bike despite all the obstacles.


I started riding on Hubby's bike and soon discovered that I needed one of my own.  One that I was comfortable on.  It would also promote family bike rides together since every member of the family would have a bike at that point.  I searched high and low for a new bike.  Do you remember this one? 

For Christmas I received a brand new bicycle from Hubby and my in-laws.  It has the big seat for us apple bottom ladies (which I love).   I still haven't gotten used to the pain my naughty bits go through, but it's getting better. 

Today I went for my very first 3 mile bike ride and I felt fabulous!  Sure, I was panting at the hills and had some major boob sweat going on, but for the most part I felt carefree with the wind in my face.  More importantly, I'm proud that I have kept a promise to myself.  In October I said that I wouldn't give up on bike riding and I'm still here pedaling along.  I can last more than 15 minutes now and the burning sensation in my legs are more of a welcome feeling. 

Call that talent!  Riding a bike AND taking a self portrait.  I know!  I know!  Save the applause.

And for some reason the scenery always looks better when you aren't looking at it through a car window.  I never realized how beautiful some of our neighborhood really is.  (Bringing my camera was a great excuse to stop and rest every once in awhile!)

V is for Vindictive

When fuxtard (my first husband) and I divorced he gave me the reason "he wanted to find someone better".  I've held on to that statement for 3 years now and I have some insane giddiness that he is still looking for that someone better.

Today we had the joy of co-parenting while youngest had try-outs for baseball.  Hopefully you can hear the sarcasm.  It's a rare occasion that we see each other and an even rarer occasion that we co-parent in the same spot.  While getting ready this morning his statement rang over and over in my head.  Let's be honest, it gave me more incentive to dress up and when I looked in the mirror I even said "dayum". 

When he got to the ballpark.....he did a double take.  SCORE!  Then when I walked away to get raffle tickets, I turned around and caught him staring at my ass.  Do you understand how awesome that made me feel?  Maybe I'm vindictive or a petty bitch but I'm glad he is missing all of this!

It's easy just to give up

It seems as though I can't get past this 300 pound mark.  I hover between 307 and 301, and it's really starting to get frustrating.  I'm tracking all my food and exercising at least 20 minutes (if not more) each day.  Hubby is tired of this emotional roller coaster and has said numerous times this week to stop obsessing over the number on the scale.  That I should look at how many inches I've lost and how I feel.  How is it possible to not obsess over the scale?  You put in the work each and every week and expect to see a lower number on the scale. 

It's so freaking easy to just go to McDonald's and grab a Big Mac with a large fry and Dr. Pepper.  It's easy to just give up.  I'm hanging by a thread, but I'm not giving up yet. 

She won't ever find a man

I know many of us weight loss bloggers have been watching Heavy on A&E and/or I Used To Be Fat on MTV.  Other than extreme weight, the most common occurrence that I've seen are the dads who say, "My daughter will never find a man as long as she is fat."  My jaw drops in shock and I seriously want to slap these men!  Why aren't these fathers more supportive of their daughters?  These men should be uplifting and encouraging.  Instead they are degrading these beautiful young women while their self esteem is plummeting.  Yes, they have a weight issue, but that doesn't mean they will never find love.  You don't have be a size 6 in order to find a man who will love and respect you. 

Maybe I get frustrated because it hits way too close to home. 

Creamy Brocolli Soup

My review:
Hot soup on a cold and windy night is probably the best dinner ever! This was easy to make, cheap, and good. I divided the pot into 4 big bowls and paired it with a salad.

Weight Watchers Points = 6

Ingredients:
1/4 cup chopped onions
1 Tbsp. butter or margarine
1 Tbsp. flour
2 cups milk
4 oz. (1/2 of 8-oz. pkg.) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, cubed
1/2 lb. (8 oz.) VELVEETA Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1 pkg. (10 oz.) frozen chopped broccoli, cooked, drained
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/8 tsp. pepper

Directions:
COOK and stir onions in butter in 2-qt. saucepan on medium-high heat until onions are crisp-tender. Blend in flour.
ADD milk and cream cheese; cook on medium heat until cream cheese is melted, stirring frequently.
STIR in remaining ingredients; cook until heated through, stirring occasionally.

Notes:  I used 1% milk, reduced fat cream cheese, and light Velveeta.  By changing the ingredients, Weight Watchers points will change.