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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

She won't ever find a man

I know many of us weight loss bloggers have been watching Heavy on A&E and/or I Used To Be Fat on MTV.  Other than extreme weight, the most common occurrence that I've seen are the dads who say, "My daughter will never find a man as long as she is fat."  My jaw drops in shock and I seriously want to slap these men!  Why aren't these fathers more supportive of their daughters?  These men should be uplifting and encouraging.  Instead they are degrading these beautiful young women while their self esteem is plummeting.  Yes, they have a weight issue, but that doesn't mean they will never find love.  You don't have be a size 6 in order to find a man who will love and respect you. 

Maybe I get frustrated because it hits way too close to home. 

15 comments:

Polar's Mom said...

I totally agree!!! But what bothers me even more is the thought that what if more Dad's actually think that but only these few douche's say it? That is scary to me... My Dad insinuated to me once that I probably didn't get a job because I was too heavy at the time, which was probably true considering the nature of the position, but it still CRUSHED me. I can't imagine how shut off these girl's have to be when they are hearing that shit all the time from someone they are supposed to trust. Terrible. But then I guess we all have closeted issues to work through...

Polar's Mom
www.polarspage.blogspot.com

Baby Weight and Beyond said...

Instead of supporting them and getting out and working out with them they just drag them down and give them crappy food! It makes me so mad!

FatGirl said...

I agree, Im always so shocked when they treat their daughters that way! Even the moms who comment on how big the daughter is.. like wtf is wrong with you as a parent that you think its ok to talk to your child like that!? pisses me off!

~ Darla ~ said...

That's too sad. I was lucky, my father never said one word about my weight. He was more interested in my brain.

Steph said...

You are so right, this upsets me as well. Regardless of what you may look like love is in the eye of the beholder.

Stephanie said...

I heard that comment SO many times in my life before I met Shawn and it always pissed me off. I agree with you - a person doesn't have to be small to find the love of their life.

Kristen said...

OMG i was just watching Heavy and her father said that. I was like what? I was 235 when i got married and overweight when we got engaged. He has been with me when i was 273 and he will be with me when i get back in the 100's. I dont get it.

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

It's dads who make comments like that example who drive their daughters into worse situations as they fight to be lovable or rebel from the comments. A parent should show MORE acceptance than the rest of the world. It's called unconditional love! It's called looking beyond.

We fix ourselves... we don't do it because we got "nagged" and "belittled" into it. We do it because we begin to love ourselves enough to do it. I'm so thankful my man loved me no matter my size! I don't know what I'd do if he complained about my weight!! I would probably fall deeper into despair and self-loathing.

Praise to the men who love their women for who they really are and who show them positive encouragement and support! There are few of them out there.. but they are there. God bless them!!!

~Margene

PS - thanks for your comment on my blog today. I really appreciated your kind words!

PSS - I've been listening to that country CD you gave me in my car ("Max").. some of those songs are really growing on me. Thanks!!

Amy said...

That breaks my heart. As a big girl, I have very supportive parents. I know my weight worries them, but they have never doubted my ability to do anything (find love, work, friends)-even when I have doubted myself.

I really enjoy reading your blog, the subject matter touches very close to home. Keep up the good work!

Ellie said...

Ohmygoodness! I know exactly what you mean. When I saw a dad on "I used to be fat" talking about how he doesn't think his daughter can get a man because she is fat I was so upset. Firstly he shouldn't want her to change to get a man. He should want her to change because it is healthy and will make her feel better about herself.

I think he finally saw where he was going wrong in the end, but I was so angry when he said some of those things!

Mrs. D said...

My mom made comments like that when I was just a little "soft" and I think it came from a genuine concern because she was obese already. I don't think parents realize how it affects their kids, and truly do want the best for them. I'm probably guilty as well, but obviously it's never been a weight thing with my son.. I have said things like "we need to be reading more and practicing a,b, or c more" using college or a job as motivation (even though he's only 7, LOL). We want our kids to do better than we did, and we use the motivations we can relate to.

Still think parents need to knock it off an be more supportive, but I get where it comes from ;)

This Old Woman Says What? said...

Just found your blog... love reading your posts!!
I haven't been watching Heavy, and by the sounds of it it's probably a good thing. I'd end up throwing something at the TV, and we can't afford to buy a new TV, and the hubby would end up going to the corner Applebee's to watch TV, and... well, you get the picture.
But I ramble...
LOVE your blog... come and visit mine! :)

Twix said...

Well that sure sais a lot about him. Doesn't it? I mean think about what he's telling and teaching her about men, all men.

You will never find love until you're a size 6. = All men therefore are despicable, selfish, disrespectful, shallow, unloving, unworthy creatures. Essiantially he's calling himself that as well.

Unfortunately he's abused his daughter so much that she more than likely will not be able to see the real message. And that is sad...

Leslie said...

So sad. Parents can be so clueless about the negative impact their own weight attitudes can affect their children...

Need to Get ME Back said...

Oh my gosh, I had that I Used to Be Fat episode DVR'd and just watched it last night! I couldn't believe how he kept saying that! At least when he talked about it with her brothers, the bros said it was more important to be confident and she didn't need to be skinny to get a man. Geez!

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