I just want to thank everyone who left words of encouragement on my last post. It means more than you will ever know!
I left alot out on my last post with no real conclusion; other than I was fat and isn't that obvious. I was wrapped up in the moment and couldn't look past being called out by my son. My oldest son told his brother that it wasn't nice to call Momma fat and that he should apologize. The youngest apologized with a giggle (which still urked me). I had a conversation with my youngest along the lines of "Just because I'm fat, does that mean I'm not worth your nice words. Because I'm fat does that make me less of a person?" He is only 6 and doesn't really understand the impact of mean words and certainly didn't really understand the message I was trying to deliver.
CathyB left a comment today that hit home. How many times have I called myself fat in front of my kids? Way too many to count! When they were little I would say "tell momma she is a fat ass". What the hell was I thinking? All they've ever known is a fat, ugly, good for nothing, mean mom because that's what I say to myself on a daily basis. This is a habit that I need to change and quick! If I want the respect of my own kiddos, then I need to respect myself (which I've said sooooooo many times)! Why is being nice to yourself harder than actually losing weight?