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Thursday, October 21, 2010

Conclusion to my not so special moment

I just want to thank everyone who left words of encouragement on my last post.  It means more than you will ever know! 

I left alot out on my last post with no real conclusion; other than I was fat and isn't that obvious.  I was wrapped up in the moment and couldn't look past being called out by my son.  My oldest son told his brother that it wasn't nice to call Momma fat and that he should apologize.  The youngest apologized with a giggle (which still urked me).  I had a conversation with my youngest along the lines of "Just because I'm fat, does that mean I'm not worth your nice words.  Because I'm fat does that make me less of a person?"  He is only 6 and doesn't really understand the impact of mean words and certainly didn't really understand the message I was trying to deliver.

CathyB left a comment today that hit home.  How many times have I called myself fat in front of my kids?  Way too many to count!  When they were little I would say "tell momma she is a fat ass".  What the hell was I thinking?  All they've ever known is a fat, ugly, good for nothing, mean mom because that's what I say to myself on a daily basis.  This is a habit that I need to change and quick!  If I want the respect of my own kiddos, then I need to respect myself (which I've said sooooooo many times)!  Why is being nice to yourself harder than actually losing weight? 

6 comments:

The Ninja said...

Think of yourself as a friend, how would you talk about a friend's body? Give yourself a break. You are doing well and should be proud of yourself. I'm sending you good vibes from the midwest.(they are quiet vibes, cause I know you are mom too and value peace as much as me. But how much noise do vibes really make anyway?)

Lanie Painie said...

Cathy B is a genius!

NAN said...

Aww just found your blog and wanted to tell you that I can read in your posts how intelliegent you are- not many people can get their toos right LOL and you wrote "too many to count."

Your boys are cute. My little sis has 3 boys and I have 2 grandsons.

You also are an attractive person- nice nose and lips too and I bet you are a great mom.

Also, just wanted to say since you are unemployed, if you don't have a college education, have you considered it? Great for the self esteem and good example for your sons...I know NOMB but your blog touched me.

Shane G. said...

I think you're hot, just saying. Your picture was kinda the driving force behind me following you.

A woman in transition... said...

I learned the hard way (1st son) that they absorb EVERYTHING they hear, whether they show it or not. Now with my 2nd & 3rd sons, I'm trying hard to make sure they only hear positive. One of the tricks that has worked for me is to look at it like this: Talk to/about myself the same way I would talk to/about my children. It keeps me from saying ugly things and it forces me to love myself a little bit more than I normally would. Face it, we could all use a little extra love. Especially us moms in houses with four boys and no other women to back us up...lol. Good luck!

Lindsey said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have a 4 and a 5 year old. I have unintentionally talked about myself, this way at times too. One day my little guy game up to me, pointed at my stomach pudge, and said, "What is that?" Even though it wasn't necessarily a bad thing, it didn't make me feel like a million bucks either.

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