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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A not so special moment with my kiddos

Tonight I decided that I needed to spend some much needed alone time with my little hellions kiddos.  We put our dog, Nessa, on the leash and headed to the park across the street from the house.  They were given the option to walk around the track with me or to play.  Much to my surprise they both walked with Nessa in tow.  We were all talking and laughing.....it was one of those really great moments in time that you truly cherish. 

Nessa was foaming at the mouth at the physical activity (she could afford to lose some weight also) so we dropped her off at home and went back to the park to play before dinner.  I recently read Lyn's post about swinging and it inspired me to jump on.  It was a picture perfect moment; I was in the middle, my oldest on my right, and my youngest on my left.  We were chatting away when my youngest says, "Oh momma you are soooo fat.  Your big butt is hanging off the swing." 

Talk about crushed!  My youngest talked for 10 minutes about how big my gut and my ass were.  He got tired shortly after I stopped responding and went to play on the jungle gym.  As soon as he jumped off, I broke down.  I looked to my right to see this massive shadow of myself.  He's right.....his momma is fat. 

12 comments:

Thrice Blessed said...

Kids can be a little too honest sometimes, can't they! Don't let it get you down though, because you are working on it, and discouragement isn't going to help you get there! Just keep working on it@

Bob said...

But remember, that is why your on this journey, There were and still are so many times that I walk through malls and stores and get stared at by little kids. It makes you feel like your a whale. But that also helps me remember about this journey that we are all on and that life is going to be so much better. Just last weekend, for the first time in man many years, I actually went for a bike ride with my son. He did not know that I was coming, I just stopped what I was doing and went. HE thoguht it was so cool. I could never have done that before I started ths journey. So keep it up. Hte good times will come. You are doing great and have take the first steps to make this all better. Don't get dicouraged. You are doing amazing.

Amy said...

Oh Honey!!!! Yah know what - this is one of those moments where you need to stop him and stand up for yourself. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt your feelings - but you need to respect yourself and not allow someone to go on and on and tear you down. I think some of the best and moving words was when my husband reprimanded the kids because they were talking to me poorly. You get wrapped up in the conversation and let it go down that path - and he stood up for me and wouldn't tolerate it. We need to take that stand ourselves(when noone else will) because we're worth it! You're taking steps to change that - don't let someone(no matter how innocent) take that away!!!

Trish said...

That just flat out sucks. I'm sorry.

Not trying to tell you what to do or anything, but nobody should get by with talking to you like that, especially not the ones you love the most! There's nothing wrong with standing up for yourself and saying something like, "that's hurtful. You shouldn't say stuff like that" and putting a stop to it. (I say this as a fat mom who's had to do that myself.)

Fat does not define who you are! You rock!

Shane G. said...

I am so sorry that happened. I had a similiar experience with Lauren. She let it slip one day that the kids at school make fun of her because Kathy and I are so fat. It was not the motivating factor for me to get started on a stay on track, but it hasn't hurt either. I was really glad that i had dropped some lbs when we went to her family fun night and he friends got to see a skinnier me. I hope it has helped some.

I just know you son didn't mean it in a mean spirited way and all that can be done now is to take it in stride and do the things to prevent that from being a conversation in the future.

logmyloss said...

Oh, I am so sorry to read this. Kids can be brutally honest sometimes. You know what though, sometimes their honesty is jaded by what they think they see. Sometimes what they see isn't reality. Don't let this get you down. Just use it as motivation to propel you to your next goal. You can do this!

~South Beach Steve

Bubba said...

Been there...heard that. My daughter once said, "No one is as big as daddy." Emotionally, you have to move past and not let it bother you...but you can still use it for motivation as well.

Lanie Painie said...

Well, that cat is out of the bag now. I wonder what other news flashes the little prodigy has? If it were me, I'd ground 'im.

Heather said...

Oh, my heart broke for you reading this! Kids are sometimes...yes, brutal, but more...blunt. I'm sure he never meant to hurt your feelings. Use this as a teaching moment. Help him to understand that his words have meaning and can hurt even when he doesn't mean to. This is a great time to teach him about differences and compassion. I'm not sure how old he is, so you may want to stay brief. I've done this with my kids since they were tiny. Don't get me wrong, there are times it's hard to either keep my cool or to not let my feelings get hurt. I just take a breath and remember...I'm their mom. It's my job to teach them how to behave and how to respond to people. Think of it this way, in moments like these, you are given the opportunity to shape your boys into wonderful, caring, compassionate men. The world will actually thank you for it later on! ;) Hang in there!

The Ninja said...

I had to share as a way to maybe lessen the blow, because it can be hard to hear something like that from your munchkin. My daughter Pumpkin is 4, she is very observant and anytime I change something about myself she calls attention to it. She's tall and we often talk about how big she is, "oh, what a big girl!" that kind of thing. For the longest time she would ask if she was going to get "big just like mommy someday?" I would always chuckle and cry on the inside thinking she was calling me fat. Then the other day I observed her having the "big like mommy" conversation with my husband. His answer to her question was, "Yes, someday you will grow up just like Mommy" Her eyes lit up and she got so excited, she danced around the living room. She wants to grow up just like Mommy, and that makes me cry for a much better reason

Jennifer said...

Hi. I am new to your blog. I love it! SOrry about your experience on the swing. Children don't have that "screen" for how to NOT hurt feelings when they speak!

I have a blog too if you are interested. I am down about 65 lbs. I am looking forward to following your journey!

Jennifer
http://wecanlosethepounds.blogspot.com/

CathyB said...

Melissa. I love the previous comments. All of them. It was a hurtful moment indeed, and I agree with those who say that you should tell your kiddos "That isn't nice and hurts Mommy's feelings". I'm having the thought here that it might be a little like my relationship with my adult daughter. Sometimes i get so frustrated with her, and i can "talk about her" and vent to my best friend DJ. And it's okay for DJ to talk truth to me about my daughter. But you let anyone ELSE talk about my daughter, and I'm like a mama bear ready to attack. It's okay for me to do it, but not for someone else (besides DJ... and even that is tough sometimes). The name of your blog is The Fat Mom. I'll bet your boys have heard you refer to yourself as "fat" so many times that it is just part of "who you are" to them. How come it is okay for us to refer to ourselves as fat, but when someone else does it, it hurts so much? They are just little munchkins, and if you call yourself fat, then because You Are Mom, they will call you fat too. I'm not calling you out on this, that's not how I roll.. I'm just wondering if maybe it would help your little guys to see you as The Incredible Shrinking Mom, instead of The Fat Mom. You know how little boys love Super Heroes!! What better hero to have than your own personal Incredible Shrinking Mom?? :-)

I know it can be hurtful. And I hope you never experience this again. But, as others have also said, perhaps this could be turned into a positive thing. Once the hurt eases a little bit, dust off that shrinking butt of yours, and turn it into a good thing. Motivation. Determination. Because you are.. The INCREDIBLE Shrinking Mom!!!! :-)

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