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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Dear Santa


Dear Santa,

I've been a really good girl this year.  Really, I have!  Please disregard all the cookies and candy I've eaten in secret.  I'm working on it.  This year I'm not asking for much. 

I would really like to see some fat mom work out clothes under the tree this year.  I know it will take a 1,000 elves to sew up all that fabric, but I really do need them.  The jeans I've been wearing to walk the neighborhood are chaffing my unmentionables and it really is quite uncomforable.  

Some underwear would be quite nice too.  The ones I've been sporting are more like baggy shorts.  My butt is A-mazing, and I need some undies to appeciate that. 

A couple of pairs of jeans that actually fit is also much needed.  I know some people like their jeans to hang to their knees, but I like my crotch high and tight. 

That's it Santa!  And before you head on over I am warning you in advance.  I refuse to make you any cookies because you know what a temptation it is for me.  So, you will have to deal with yogurt and carrots.  Sorry! 

The best girl around town,
The Fat Mom

4 comments:

the strawberry said...

Love it!! And your butt IS amazing! You've earned it with all your hard work. I've asked for similar stuff- I'm changing sizes with you, which rocks, but damn it adds up LOL! new bas are on my list :( Hope Santa brings you everything on your list! And he doesn't need those cookies either, have you seen his gut?! ;)

Kelly said...

Well my first comment got lost when my internet blinked. grrr.
Anyway love the letter to Santa! I'm asking for a guilt free day to go get my hair done, get a mani and my eyebrows waxed. But some new workout clothes would rock. Other than the 1 pair of black yoga pants I own that I practically live in I have to walk in jeans too. And man those things chafe like nobody's business!

The Ninja said...

I want to write a letter to santa too! Maybe I will. Great post, and again, I suggest resale. Way cheaper than retail and for temporary clothes cheap is better.

Unknown said...

You mean you don't even want any of the Christmas gifts from my post yesterday? Not even the squirrel pants?? LOL
Hope you get everything you asked for and more. You need to show off the body like you mean it!

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