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Thursday, January 20, 2011

Hate Loss Challenge Update #3

I'm going to admit that this week has been very difficult to say nice things to myself.  I've been having a self described pity party since receiving the rejection letter from the company I interviewed with.  I take rejection very personally and it brings out my very worst attitude.  Immediately, I thought that I wasn't good enough.  Who would want to hire a fat slob like me?  I don't blame said company for not hiring a loser who can't get a job in 3 years.  I am not worth their time or energy. 


Those feelings have been festering since Monday!  It has effected my mood, my interactions with the kids, my patience and understanding, and my relationship with my husband.  I have been harming myself for days with unkind words!  Yesterday I had enough.  I looked in the mirror and said that this rejection was not because of me personally.  I am smart, talented, dedicated, and a damn hard worker.  After saying this over and over I finally truly looked at myself and believed the words that came out of my mouth. 

I still not happy, bubbly, or positive about the job situation but I feel better about myself.  And isn't that what it's all about?

It's amazing what make-up can do! 

P.S. I know everyone is tired of the pity party and talk of jobs.  I will not be mentioning it again.

17 comments:

arielcircleofnine said...

Girl nobody is tired of anything! Blog how you feel, blog what you like. This is, afterall, your blog!!!! Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. Rejection is really hard to deal with, personal or otherwise! Hang in there!

The Ninja said...

Nobody can get tired of hearing how you actually feel. Good for you coming out of the funk, even if it's just partially out of the funk. It's hard to find a job these days, everyone feels your pain.

Stephanie said...

Awwww...I'm so sorry you've been feeling down. *BIG HUG* There's no way I'd get tired of reading anything you write, so blog away, my friend. We're here for you. (And I love your pictures. You're a very beautiful woman, both inside and out). :)

Lauren Morris said...

Beautifuly written. I couldn't have said it better myself. We are all entitled to those days and I for one am glad that I am not the only one who gets down about it. I have a job, but can not find one that I am happy about. Just keep praying that the right job will come along when the time is right.

FatAngryBlog said...

You are so pretty!

Good for you for working your way back into a better mindset (feeling better about yourself)!

Kelly said...

I totally agree with Ninja up there. They're *your* feelings--and this is where we talk about them--and we're here to listen. Keep those positive thoughts up there, you're doing great!

Ann-Marie said...

LOVE THAT SECOND PHOTO.

~ Darla ~ said...

Not tired of the pity party at all. Blog it out and turn it around. I do the same thing too and I just try to say to myself that my thoughts are not true and are sometimes ridiculous. Fake it until you make it. BTW, you have a beautiful face those glasses really suit you. Way to love yourself. You are worth it.

Baby Weight and Beyond said...

This blog is about your feelings and if you need a pity party or want to talk about your job search you should!

I am happy to see that you are feeling better!

Mrs. D said...

What they said--YOUR BLOG! I for one won't be getting tired of anything you post about! If you feel it, post it, or you aren't taking full advantage of the tool. Hugs, I'm glad you're feeling better about yourself because you truly are a wonderful person!!

Ellie said...

It's not fair to be so hard on yourself. I'm glad you were able to turn that around.

Shannie (akaSolidice242) said...

First of this is your blog you can write about whatever you want! Secondly, that second picture is FIERCE! Third, Congrats on being able to pull yourself out of a frump. We all have our moments. Great post as usual! That job is missing out on a great employee.

fatgirlwearingthin said...

1. You can job-talk all day, any day. I'll be here.
2. That makeup had absolutely nothing to do with why that second pic of you jumped off the screen; it was that beautiful smile of yours.
3. You definitely ARE worth it; and no one is going to conquer these inner demons right away. It takes practice and patience, both of which you have and I am so proud of your progress :)

Leslie said...

You can talk about whatever you want or need to talk about - yes, it's your blog, but also - you deserve to say what you need to say. We won't run in the other direction, I promise!

You did a great job turning the negative self talk around, and your pics are great. Very creative:) You're doing great!

Jennifer said...

Hang in there girl. The right and perfect job will come along. Everything happens for a reason!!!

Jennifer

Cub's Den said...

everything happens for a reason...its not a pity party you have to talk about it to deal thats what we are here for!

christina said...

I have been stuck is self loathing feeling bad talking horribly to myself kind of mood for a few weeks now... I feel like I cant even post exactly how I feel now on my blog because I have been posting SOOOO many down post that I seem alittle "debbie downer". Im right there with you.

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